this is one of my lowest point in life. having an eye infection on a random unbusy day is fine, but having an eye infection in the middle of an upcoming busy week is so not. the upcoming interviews, photo shoots, tests, meet ups pretty much needs my fucking face to be there for show. i guess God really wants me to know that He is still in control of how things work. and by allowing me to have such an eye infection really shows me how i have no control over such issues. sigh. or maybe it's just plain karma getting back on me.
things i might want to consider soon. number one. going to school alone and going home alone. God i need a distance away from the whole human nature population that sucks your fucking blood. i can't keep up with appearance and be a total fake in school. i can't okay. don't fucking force me. i'm so sick of these expectations people wants and expects from me. and if you don't apparently do what they want you to do, they mock you. well bottom line is, i'm not lying to myself. so i'm literally fine with the whole no contact with the world thing until i get my mind sorted out. so please just give me a fucking break. x
